Hi! It’s been a while! I hope you all are staying safe in these weird times. I’m still good, just kinda disappeared for a bit. I’m not going to make any more promises about how often I’m “going to” post, but for now (and I mean, literally right now, today), I’m back!
And I feel a little… weird.
So, I’m working on this blog about creativity, and if it really declines as we age, and… I sound ridiculous. I feel like I’m back in college, trying to pull an essay out of… the air. Once my dad was asking about my writing and for some reason he asked me if I ever write essays. I was like… No? Why would I even think to do that? Like, fantasy escapism and essays just don’t click together in my brain. But as I'm writing this new blog (which should be up next week) I actually felt like I was writing an essay.
And a while ago I was reading over old posts, and I just thought, who does this person think she is? What does she think she knows, about anything? I just sound weird, like, I sound like some thirty-year-old white lady... Oh wait…
So, I’m just having a little case of imposter syndrome, and I think I know how to get through it. I’m just hyperaware that I’m in front of an “audience,” even though there’s only like, two of you, maybe who read this (and I love and appreciate you both!). But I just get fixated on what sort of “image” I’m putting out. So, I’mma try to throw that out of the window and just get real. For a while I wasn’t blogging anymore because I thought, maybe I want to make videos instead. Especially for topics that tend to send me rambling, it might be easier just to talk instead of write. Then I just kept putting it off because I never had time. We’ll see. Maybe one day I’ll give it try. For now, though, I do enjoy blogging. So, for right now, we're back!
And I feel a little… weird.
So, I’m working on this blog about creativity, and if it really declines as we age, and… I sound ridiculous. I feel like I’m back in college, trying to pull an essay out of… the air. Once my dad was asking about my writing and for some reason he asked me if I ever write essays. I was like… No? Why would I even think to do that? Like, fantasy escapism and essays just don’t click together in my brain. But as I'm writing this new blog (which should be up next week) I actually felt like I was writing an essay.
And a while ago I was reading over old posts, and I just thought, who does this person think she is? What does she think she knows, about anything? I just sound weird, like, I sound like some thirty-year-old white lady... Oh wait…
So, I’m just having a little case of imposter syndrome, and I think I know how to get through it. I’m just hyperaware that I’m in front of an “audience,” even though there’s only like, two of you, maybe who read this (and I love and appreciate you both!). But I just get fixated on what sort of “image” I’m putting out. So, I’mma try to throw that out of the window and just get real. For a while I wasn’t blogging anymore because I thought, maybe I want to make videos instead. Especially for topics that tend to send me rambling, it might be easier just to talk instead of write. Then I just kept putting it off because I never had time. We’ll see. Maybe one day I’ll give it try. For now, though, I do enjoy blogging. So, for right now, we're back!
So, I do plan to be a little less censored (was going to say a little more uncensored... Now they both sound weird) to bust outta my imposter syndrome. So excuse me if I say fuck too much.
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