Sometimes books are inconsistent about what’s a big deal and what is not. Sometimes, you’ll have a story with a lot of intense situations, perhaps they’re at war. And then someone smacks someone. If the book makes a big deal out of this, I’m kinda going, “Really? Didn’t we just see ten people get murdered? And now OH NO, someone got slapped, it’s about to get super real!”
After reading a book like that, you might think, yeah, someone would just get over it, right?After all, the character's perspective is: So I got hit by some idiot, who cares? I'm still alive, that's what counts.
But if the writer just takes that incident out of context, it can get troubling. They go write a young adult love story of a girl in high school, someone gets punched in the face, and brushes it off like it’s no big deal. Um, wait… Think about your real life. If you went off to school, or work, and got in argument with someone, and next thing you know their fist flies at your face, you’re gonna freak out. You’re gonna be pretty upset, probably for weeks following the incident.
My point is, please take your genre into account. What are your characters’ normal problems? Survival? Food? Shelter? Or popularity, happiness, and success? What would upset them on an ordinary day? Someone who’s worried about losing a loved one in a war probably wouldn’t care if someone said their hair looked stupid, whereas that high school girl worried about impressing her crush, well, that’s a big deal.
Know how big your character's problems are in their world. Things that are made too big or too small are distracting.